The Perfect Make Out Playlist

rainy sierra nevadas

Deliberately crafting a make out playlist, hereafter known as a "MOPL", can increase your romantic success by:

  1. Putting your object of affection in a state of emotion where they will consider making out with you
  2. Accelerating the seduction process by setting a pace and direction for the natural steps of romantic escalation
  3. Augmenting your energy so as to help achieve and sustain peak performance

This advice is for making out only. First base, that’s it.

Elements of the MOPL

Setting:

You want to being the right place at the right time before you initiate the sequence of emotions that comes from playing an MOPL.

Ideally, you’re alone, it’s dark and late at night. You’ll want to be in a place with a stereo—that means a car or a living room with a sound system. Alternately, if you cannot secure a locale for a long enough period of time where you won’t be interrupted you can take things outdoors.

Progression:

While natural and almost imperceptible, there are certain emotional stages that you and your date should be transitioning through as you progress towards this basic and most sophomoric of romantic encounters. The optimal make out playlist will follow the following steps in roughly this order:

1. Set The Tone

The first three steps are part of the "pre-make out phase"—it doesn’t really matter what you put as the first song as long as it sets the tone that this is going to be a relaxed, fun hang out, however it ends.

James McMorrow - We Dont Eat

2. The Build Up

In this phase you want to continue playing songs that make her comfortable. Nothing too romantic—think good acoustic songs with an moderate tempo.

Examples:

3. The Move:

This is where the magic happens.

3a. If you’re good friends:

Eventually you’re going to come to the part of the evening where you want some help turning this into a "hangout" into a "make out". What song comes on depends on whether you’ve been friends for a long time or not. If you're friends, you might want to try Dave Matthews Band - Say Goodbye.

3b. If you’re just acquaintances:

After a bit of conversation you’ll come to the point when you need to give them the opportunity to give you the opportunity—you sort of make your intentions known, melodically. This step is largely controlled by body language and proximity, but the playlist can make the difference.

Maybe one of these:

Oh, and keep a backup "The Move" song two places behind this one so you don’t feel that things have to happen during this song. You’ve got time. And you’re doing great. And you are totally in her league. Actually, she’s the one who’s reaching here, not you.

4. Keep it sweet

Great. You’re making out now. You should be a bit awestruck, so give yourself a few minutes to get your feet under you. In terms of song selection, you want some slow paced songs that are clearly romantic and not too distracting. You’re finding out how much tongue the other person uses, how they angle their head, where on their back they like your hands to be placed. No need to rush this. You have all night.

5. Whitney Houston

The seventh song on your playlist should be I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. You might think this is ridiculous, but it’s important—you need this song to transition from these sweet melodies to something with a BPM high enough to give you energy for the next phase.

Think of this as the song you’d use to transition between relaxing and starting a workout. Because that is what comes next.

6. Full-throttle

If you’ve played your songs right, you’re now at the point you’ve always dreamed of. This is the portion of the session where you’re in that second natured zone where everything is just flowing—it's moving quickly but it feels right.

You need music to match that passion, which get’s you into some of the higher BPM territory music—maybe even some light techno.

Something like these:

If you like a little EDM, check out Chromeo - Night By Night (NEUS Dubstep Remix)

7. Crescendo

This is where you’ll hit your peak performance. You might not have much left in the tank at this point, but you're almost attained make out perfection. When you’ve finished the crescendo phase you'll probably be exhausted emotionally and physically.

Warning: Only use ONE of these songs—you don't need to be a hero.

8. Stop and Talk

After you've finished the crescendo you’re about 90 percent done. You’ll want to stop kissing here for a minute, look at them intently and say something commensurate with your feelings at that moment. You want to have a soft sweet song playing in the background. Think Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers.

8a. If this is a One Night Stand

If this is a one time thing, build them up as a human being. If this is going to last, share something vulnerable about yourself.

8b. On Not Crying

If you weren’t close friends before this night, you might not want to cry at this point (it might be a little too soon) but if it comes, out own it—you’re obviously dealing with some stuff and you should just take care of it. If they are freaked out, don't worry, there will be others.

At the end of this stage you should be embracing, which leads perfectly into step 9.

9. Cuddling & Baby Kisses

If you’re not a monster (no judgement) and want to have some sort of emotional connection, you will do a bit of kinesthetic-escalation at this point . This is where you’re kissing each other’s faces, eyelids, cheeks, foreheads and noses. Throw in some butterfly kisses and eye staring. Oh, and this is where you want to set up a next time to see each other. Preferably the next day. Feel free to laugh with giddy excitement or whatever you’re comfortable with.

Cat Stevens - Moonshadow is a spritely melody that will match the mood.

10. Goodbye

You do not want to outlast the moment—leave while you still want to be there. Hopefully you’ll get a text as you’re on your way home and you can sigh that sigh of relief knowing that there is love in the world. You just need a song to play you off:

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know your playlist is good?
They make out with you.
How do you know your playlist is really good?
They make the first move.
What if you don’t have any prospects with whom to use your MOPL?
The perfect time to start making your UMPL is when you’re lonely—you have more time to search for songs and tinker with the ordering. And it will mean so much more to you when it does happen after days/months/years of waiting.
What if my MOPL is shaky and the song is wrong for the stage we’re in?
Ahh, so you’re asking how to change a song. Make direct eye contact before you look away and then skip to the next song. Be confident.
What if they don’t like the songs I pick?
Using the same playlist for every girl with whom you initiate this journey is a mistake. Ideally, you will have put in the work beforehand and crafted an unique playlist based on what you think they would like. I might suggest checking their Facebook profile to find their favorite bands. Don’t just use bands from their favorite bands—use adjacent groups (try checking Spotify’s “Related Artists” feature).
What if I only have time for one song?
Use this one: Usher - Climax
Isn’t this all kind of manipulative or pathetic?
That's not really a question, but you really wouldn’t have read this far if you didn’t need help. I’ll further dignify this question with a second response: No, it’s not. Ideally both parties are benefitting from results of a well-crafted MOPL.
Finally, a pro-tip
If you can, add in a "hard stop" when you know you’ll hit the limits of what your body can handle (either because you’re exhausted or you’re pushing the boundaries of your moral code). I like to drop in a Christian talk on chastity around track 23 to 24 to ruin the mood, but any voicemail from your mother or grandmother (even better if you can find one from theirs) would work just as well.
[Caveat Emptor: You probably shouldn't actually take any of the advice in this answer.]

The Play List

Just press play below and follow the steps to make out glory.